« The truth about global warming | Main | You all suck »

Ze Germans are not coming

There seems to be a disconnect between the two sides of the Atlantic. On the right side (which is the left side) where I reside, people respect me. I know this for a fact, even without drinking. It is the wrong side (the right side) that hasn’t gotten the message of my (self) importance. I give you as Exhibit A an e-mail I recently received from a company in Germany regarding my on-line purchase.
Dear Mr. cZulander,

thank you for your order and prompt payment.
Due to our vacation till 25.08.06 we can send the XXXXXXX XXXXX end of August.
Thank you for your comprehension.

Best regards,
Kerstin XXXXXX
To this, I carefuly chose my words and replied:
Dear Kerstin,

I hate you. I hate your company. I will change my flight plans to Turkey to ensure I fly through
your rustic Nazi loving village and personally kick your ass. If you are hot, and a girl instead 
of some lame emo boy with a chick's name, than I will show you hot monkey love. Otherwise an 
ass kicking awaits. Blow me,

cZulander
Score
Mike: 1 - take that you peace loving makers of wonderful cars
Germany: 1 - for learning an important life lesson

Comments

You should start sending emails without so much filtering of your inner monologue.

Post a comment