Mike's "I hate blogs" blog

"Raki is the answer, I don't remember the question" - a funny anecdote, a sign of a drinking problem or early onset Alzheimer’s? Who cares - it’s a souvenir!

Posted by cZulander at 02:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

At some point in my life, likely a moment of great weakness or intoxication, I decided to become a good GSB citizen by contributing back to the school. Even though memories of torturing our 2nd year trip leaders on the Alaska Random Walk were still fresh in my mind (who thought tattooing a “Can’t touch this” sign on the back of a freshly shaved head could be so much fun and yet so difficult to remove), I decided to volunteer to lead a trip to Turkey. In typical self-denial I thought that things would be different; I mean, what are the chances that the first year group would repeat our folly and misspell “can’t”? I’d have never guessed a misplaced apostrophe and the letter “u” could cause so much ill will.

In the above pictures East meets West (yes, I spelled “meets” correctly). The land on the left hand side sits on the Asian continent while the fortifications on the right are part of Europe. Mind blowing, I know, but hey, you wouldn’t expect anything less from this blog.

As some of you have doubted my claims of being the world’s premier jet setting billionaire genius playboy, I present you with proof: my very own Boeing 737-800. Eat your heart out John Travolta – with all of your “success” you only have a weak ass 727. Booya!

Even with the aforementioned playboy lifestyle, I have not forgotten the plight of the common man. Unlike the grandiose ceiling in my (one bedroom) mansion, from what I understand the “common man” cannot afford building materials. Instead, he digs deep underground creating a “city” with very low ceilings. I could’ve gotten that all mixed up but I really wasn’t listening to our tour guide in Cappadocia. So here you have it: a picture of me in either some poor sucker’s house or a millennium old underground city. As the saying goes: potato, tomato.

Score:
Mike: 17 – Don’t act all surprised – that plane is money!
JT: 0 – If I were you I’d be shamed landing that POS when I’m in town
Turkey: 1 – For having me grace your shores, although technically we weren’t anywhere near a shore but seeing open water counts in my book so you should at least be grateful for that if not for the diversity that my crew and I brought to your fictitious land. Is fictitious the word I’m thinking of? No, I think I was going more for historic, yeah that sounds better. Your historic land. Booya!

Posted by cZulander at 01:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So I've been getting crap from a number of people that I haven't been updating my blog recently. This is “interesting” in that most individuals know I could give less than a crap about their opinions. Being told to update my blog is akin to a waiter looking me straight in the eyes when taking my order – a problem normally solved by a firm smack across that insolent face. However, with recent school violence legislation I fear utilizing the same solution for both issues will have very different results. In the former, the food comes out a bit undercooked and on the moist side. In the latter, a guy named Bubba asks me to bend down and grab the soap for him. He thanks me after I retrieve it and we end up discussing the problems with insolent waiters, but frankly at this point in the recruiting cycle I’d prefer to update my blog than make idle chit chat.

Score:
Mike: 0 – I’m writing this, ain’t I?
People who claim to be my “friends”: 1 - I’m writing this, ain’t I?
Bubba: 1 – I miss you man

Posted by cZulander at 11:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)