Mike's "I hate blogs" blog

So I was cooking dinner the other night, and said to myself “This chicken vindaloo is going to be so hot, it’ll bring tears to my eyes.” Not five minutes later, while stirring the delicious concoction, the damn thing splashes into my eye causing me to well up with tears before running to the sink to wash it out. After the cursing had ended (so about an hour later) I realized that I had a “gift” of dictating the future. My subsequent wishes, which will remain nameless, have yet to come true but let me warn enemies of mine to shake in fear and ask for help making a large deposit of gold bars to my bank. I’m not sure what I’ll do with all the virgins when they’ll arrive, but from what I’ve seen in “videos” those kinds of girls somehow find a way of entertaining themselves.

Score
Mike: 1 – For being a fortune telling super genie
My bank: 1 – For the influx of capital at your ridiculously low interest rates
The virgins: 1 – This is just way too obvious if you’ve ever read this blog